Alli Bankston: Creating Holiday Magic for First Responder Families

Navigating First Responder Life: Holiday Traditions and Communication

In this episode of 'Just a Girl and Her Firefighter,' host Kristi Hilmer welcomes fellow firewife and guest Alli Bankston. Allie shares insights into her life as a firefighter's wife, her family's unique holiday traditions, and her new children's book designed to normalize first responder schedules for kids. The discussion covers the challenges of communication, reintegration after shifts, and maintaining family routines. Listeners will find valuable advice on building communication within relationships and strategies for helping children adapt to the first responder lifestyle. Join Kristi and Alli as they offer heartfelt stories, practical tips, and a deeper understanding of the first responder family dynamic.

00:00 Welcome to Just a Girl and Her Firefighter

01:00 Special Guest: Firewife Alli

01:53 Alli's Journey and Book Inspiration

05:35 Challenges and Traditions in First Responder Families

08:35 Balancing Family Life and First Responder Duties

16:18 Living on Acreage and Homesteading

18:28 Communication and Relationship Tips

22:36 Navigating Reintegration and Mental Space

29:23 Rapid Fire Questions and Closing Remarks

Find the book on Amazon here https://a.co/d/ghYgPkh

Follow Alli on IG @mytherapyjournals 

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Transcript

0:23

Hello and welcome to Just a Girl and Her Firefighter. I'm Christy Homer, your host. Grab your favorite drink, whether it's coffee, fizz, or maybe something else, and let's dive into the wild, wonderful world of First Responder Life. We are here to swap stories, share laughs, and tackle those, did that change you? Moments. Whether you're a seasoned pro or just figuring this all out, this is the place for you. So kick back, get comfy, and let's have some fun.

Audio Only - All Participants-2: 0:59

Welcome. I am just thrilled that we get to have a special guest today. It all happened last minute, but we are going to air this episode on Halloween, which is not a major holiday, but it is a holiday. And the guests that we have today is a fellow firewife, Allie. and she has done something so cool with traditions and Christmas. And she has written a book geared towards kids in the first responder world, because it is a little bit different when we have holidays. So I'm thrilled to have you. Thank you for taking the time so last minute, this idea happened just, super fast, which is how it is sometimes. So with that, will you tell us a little bit about yourself, about your family, what does it look like what your firefighter schedule is, all that kind of stuff, and just give us a little insight into who you are. Okay. Yeah. Well, thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here. So I've been with my firefighter since 2011. We've been married since 2013. He works for Central Florida. And he saw me through, like you said, I'm a mental health counselor, and he saw me through my finishing of my undergrad and all through my graduate degree program, which is when we got pregnant with our first son. And that was in, we got pregnant with him in 2016 and he works 24 hours on 48 hours off. Uh, we get used to that schedule with the random mandates and everything in there. We have two kids now. One of the things that happened when I very first got pregnant with my son because I absolutely love Christmas is I looked online to see if there was any books out there, children's books that I could get to normalize that I knew we were going to have this weird Christmas schedule where sometimes he's home Christmas Day, other days he's not. And so I was being proactive about it and I couldn't find it. anything at all, anywhere when it came to children's books. And I was really upset about that because I love my books. And I was really excited as a new mom to be able to find a book that just off the bat normalized what we go through all the time. And there was nothing. So his schedule and just our love of Christmas, we do a Christmas party every year and starting our family is what just brought up this idea a few years ago. And recently I had gotten into self publishing as a mental health counselor. And so I finally decided it was time. I was going to make sure that no other first responder family in general had to go through the same disappointment that I went through. Cause it is a little bit different with holidays and Christmas when they were little. For us, at least it was easier to, I just pretended it was Christmas, like it was, maybe it was December 23rd. I'm like, yeah, it's Christmas. And we just did Christmas Eve and then Christmas, but it was two days early or two days later. But then once they go to school, they start reading, they can tell time and a calendar, like it got a lot harder. And thankfully ours never really questioned. We just always said Santa just knows he's just going to come. When he comes, because he knows daddy's gone. So in order to normalize it, I just wanted to be as authentic as possible. And I based it off of our family and our experiences. So that's why the characters names in the book are actually my kids names. Oh, fun! And pretty much everyone that the book talks about, we talk about certain family members in there. They are actual, are real life family members, and they are actually experiences that we went through with like their Aunt Becca and their cousins came and had a holiday with us. And it talks about like military members and stuff too, because their uncle is a military, he's in the army. So I just, for the authenticity part, I, it just talks through me and my kids baking cookies. Like we do every Christmas Eve and my son questioning wait, it's not Christmas Eve. Why we were doing this on Christmas Eve last year. Why is this different? And it explains and it relates it to other families. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just a firefighter book since we're not the only ones subjected to this schedule. And I wanted to make it more inclusive for the broader first responder spectrum, not just fire and police, but I included depictions of military linemen and nurses, because even though they're not always considered the first response, if a natural disaster occurs, linemen are away on Christmas, the holidays don't, they don't. Stop those things from happening. So I wanted to make sure it was as inclusive for all of the families that go through this kind of schedule. How fun. So what was the process like to write it? And then publish it and like, did you draw the pictures yourself? Did you have somebody? Oh, I drew like a five year old, so. I'm like, how does this happen? So that was one of my things. I I knew when I was going to be writing this that me creating the pictures was not an option. No stick figures. Yes, exactly. And they wouldn't even be consistent stick figures. Right? I know. I like, everybody has the curly hair or the like stick straight like hairless person. It's terrible. I don't even know. Yeah, yeah. So the writing part really wasn't that bad because I was basing it off of our family, so I was just trying to make it as authentic as possible there. So it only took me a couple of hours over a couple of days of sitting away from it, rereading it, kind of editing it, having my aunt look over it for grammatical errors and things. She's my named editor. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, it was amazing. I had loved it. She was all about it. Yeah. So I did, I found, I knew of a local artist in the area that had actually done, because I have other publications that are my therapy journal that are journals that I had created for mental health counseling. And she had created, I'd found her when I wanted to do coloring book pages for those journals. Okay. So I, she was the first person I approached since she was so easy to work with before. And I really loved her work. And I asked her, she was open to, doing this children's book with me. And she was, so that was probably the most intensive part was, my ideas, her bringing those to life and really having to a lot of time on those and then she like the pages that I didn't have a whole lot of idea with the cover all her idea the cover is one of my favorite beautiful that was all her I told her you know a lot of the pages I had ideas for was like I really don't know what the cover other than I know on the back I want you know Santa but for the front I don't know and she came up with this beautiful wreath idea that had all of the helmets and ornaments Bye. Bye. And I was like this is clearly what I'm paying you for because you are amazing. Yes. How fun. Yeah. It's absolutely stunning. I'm excited to actually see the inside of the book. I saw your little video of it but it's just such a cool idea and in it, I believe I saw something about there's letters that come with it, right? Yes, throughout the book, it explains what a first responder is, and then it talks about this alternative delivery notice that you can fill out and send to Santa to let him know what, your parents schedule is like and what day you want them to come instead, or if you want them to come to a different location. So I included in the back of the book, there are five cutouts. For those letters. Very cool. That's so fun. I'm excited. I can't wait to see like the new traditions that come and all the different parts that this is going to play into people's lives. So with that, I would love to ask you a couple more questions, but also pick your brain of common questions that I get, especially regarding kids and mental health and the schedule and all of that. So we'll start with maybe what has surprised you the most about living this first responder life in the fire service? Has there been something that you're like, I did not expect this? I, hmm, that is a really good question. When it comes to the not expecting, I probably would say like one of the things, especially as a family, I didn't expect that the kids Would struggle so much with the routine of him being gone. Cause I figured, Oh, they're being born into it. They're used to, daddy's gone for 24 hours, sometimes 48. And they would just be a little bit more used to it, but I still know it's my son is seven, my daughter's six and they still are asking his daddy coming home today. No, he's not coming home today. Why does he have to work, 24 hours? I'm not going to say it's all the time, but I, it definitely is more than I expected with them being born into it and thinking it would just feel more natural than it actually does. Absolutely. And I think it changes with different age things as kids go through different development. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. Have you found anything that has been helpful with those transitions? I think we'll try to do the video calls when we can, even though they're not they don't happen, sometimes because of them being busy and working. But we try to do that when we can. Now that my son is reading, we'll text and he'll be able to see that, even though he's not, I don't let him text on my phone yet, but just like he can see that I'm texting daddy, what he said or sending that picture. And then he can read what daddy said back. And I'm not always the middleman. I think that has helped a lot since he started reading, which has just been in the last year. For my daughter since she's not reading yet, it's a lot of sending the pictures back and forth, but I've noticed that there are just some days we have to do a lot more of that if we can, and then other days, they're not as into it. Like they're fine. They're good. I know we've started almost like little traditions when he's on shift, where now it's only my youngest, cause my oldest is almost 14 and then we have a 12 year old and then a nine year old boy. And so they would always take turns sleeping with me when dad was on shift. And I just had to go in birth order. Cause I'm like, I won't remember who's next and then it's not fair and it's all the fighting. So it's we're just going in birth order. And this is our rotating schedule. And the girls are older now and they don't, sometimes they still will. But my son's Oh, dad's on shift. Does that mean I get to sleep with you? I'm like, yes, but you can only bring one stuffed animal. I can't handle anymore. But yes, just little things that, okay, we get to do this. So then on dad's on shift has seemed to help on those harder days because it's. It is the schedule. We can't change it. So what can we do to make it fun and something different than with that same with the pizza for dinner, you get to pick a big meal. Like I know they really appreciated the pizza nights. Yes. Or you get cereal for dinner. I don't have to cook for dinner. We started doing a Friday night tradition and I've always been hesitant to do anything. routinely because our schedule changes all the time. And so I have, I've always admired people that have these, every Friday night or every this we do something. So we finally implemented it this summer when things were just crazy. And it was like, how can we bring us all back together? And so we do a Friday pizza night, but it's like next level. I've got the Italian, plaid checkered tablecloth. We have candles, we have like pizza things. You can get that whole razors that hold the P like when you go to a piece of restaurant place and. The caveat is that I don't always make the pizza. I was like, okay, if dad's on shift, we are going to order pizza. And if dad's home, he can cook it in the pizza oven. But that has been something that's been really fun. So they do love pizza nights. And then it's easy when dad's on shift because. You can just order pizza. That's awesome. That's a good idea. Yeah. It's been a lot of fun. And we play Italian music or pizzeria music on Spotify, like it's, they have a lot of fun with that. Aw. Okay. So tell us something that you have struggled with potentially and a way that you've overcome that. Cause we've talked about kids and we've talked about, creating this book. That's absolutely something that you are helping so many people with. so much. My pleasure. But has there been something that you have struggled with personally? And how have you overcome that situation? That is a really good question. I mean, there's a lot of things that come to mind. I would say specifically if it's related to the family and everything, one of the things that I've really struggled with, especially with our schedule and him being a firefighter, is as the primary parent, but also You know, an entrepreneur I don't have, we don't have family nearby either. So it is just us. So if something happens with a kid and they're sick and they have to be picked up from school if my husband's off, great, he takes care of it. If not, then I'm having to call out of work or reschedule and things. I don't have somebody that can go and pick them up. We don't have regular date nights because we don't have family to come and babysit the kids regularly. And I'm just not comfortable with hiring a babysitter that I don't know. That's just my personal thing because of other things I've been through in my life. So you probably have seen a few in your field as well. Yeah. Yes. So one of the really hard challenges, which I feel like we've really done as well as we possibly can. It's just the fact that we are that, that family that does not have help. So you hear a lot of people talk about, Oh, you find your village and everybody helps each other out. And we've never had that. We've only had each other. And while that's made us like really, really close together, it's also we. We don't get to have the date nights that a lot of people rely on to maintain their relationship. And we've had to come up with really creative ways to keep that intimacy going without The help. Absolutely. Yes. We haven't ever lived near family and it's one of those things, and this is something I talk about often on here, but it's that whole idea of people say, find your village and it's well, how about we actually go create it? Let's go. And it's awkward at first, right? Like you're meeting, meeting grownups is awkward and it's not the same as it is on the playground when you're 10. It's awkward. But it's getting that awkward phase. There was a point when we moved to Texas, I went and actually knocked on our neighbor's door and invited them to a game night. Cause it's like, how else are we going to meet people and find people? So that has been something that's helped a ton is to really create it for those emergencies are like, Oh, I am with, I have to go pick up this other, my other kid, can you be at the bus stop with my son? I'll be there in 15 minutes, whatever it is. But yes, that whole idea of creating it, but it does make it challenging when there's not family where we live to we literally live in the middle of nowhere. We are 10 acres in the woods. Our closest neighbor is about a mile down the road. Wow. So it was hard. Cause that's what a lot of people would say, we'll go to church and find church people there. You have a lot of, cause we do have a great support system within the fire family. But at the same time. I don't feel comfortable asking someone to drive 30 minutes out to me to watch my children. I don't feel comfortable driving my kids 30 minutes out, putting them in, even though we trust their home then for us to go out, then pick the kids up now it's past bedtime. They're not even in their home. Don't want to just be like them. So it did feel like a big struggle of I didn't have a neighbor. I could just go knock on the door or somebody close by that I could be. Could be here within 10 minutes or five minutes because everything from us, like even in your grocery store is 30 minutes away. How do you like living on acreage? Do you have a farm? Do you have animals? Chickens. We're working on getting cows. That's the next thing my husband wants is cows. Yeah. I saw this reel the other day and it said, just be prepared whenever your first chicken shows up, expect a cow. Yep. Do you guys do a lot of your like homesteading? We have here and we've I do not have a green thumb at all. So as much as I would love veggies I cannot keep them alive to save my life or theirs. So we do, we get the eggs from the chicken and from the chickens and then. He wants to get cows eventually. So that way we would have our grass fed beef and all of that. Instead of having to buy from friends around the area. But yeah, we, it, it was definitely a culture shock for me when I first moved out here, cause my husband lived out here with his family previously. And then. Okay. So I came from a suburban area where like literally five minutes to target. It's very different. Yeah. So I, I had a good amount of culture shock when I first moved out here, especially since I had left my friends and everything. Cause I was in this area and now I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. Because there are street lights outside, like when I've gone and stayed at my parents house or something like that I cannot sleep, there's too much light outside. That's funny. It's crazy how we get used to so many things. If you think of somebody in New York, they can't go to sleep in the country because they're used to sirens and traffic and then somebody in the country, vice versa. Yes, we just adapt to wherever our environment is. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. Let's I'll ask this next question and then maybe we can dive into a little bit of transitioning with kids and different stuff like that. But what is something that you would tell a person that's listening today that if they're maybe beginning their journey into this first responder world or even they might even be experienced, but what is something you wish you would have been told? Or if you're like, if I could go back and tell myself 10 years ago, this is what I would say. I would say if I could go and tell myself something, it would be to work on your communication. I wish I had figured it out. It was really trial. I mean, I know it's good for everybody to work on their communication, especially when they're younger, but especially that the 24 hour difference between being at different locations needing to feel secure in the relationship through communication. I don't think we realize just how much that affects us in a social setting. Especially when you have a shift schedule and that's all you have. And you don't have time for the games either that we naturally play. Oh, I wish he said, knew what I was thinking. Can't you see I'm upset? He's gone the next day. So don't deal with it now. Now you're gone. Now you're stewing in it. He's might not even be there. He's busy working. So he comes home. You've been mad for three days and he's coming home. What is going on? And by that time, it's 10 times bigger in your mind of whatever it even was. Exactly. Exactly. So I wish I, I'm so glad I did figure it out eventually, but it would have saved us so much headache in the beginning of our marriage if, because his communication got better when mine got better too. Yes, absolutely. What is, cause this is actually your field as well, then what are maybe like two or three tips that you could give somebody if they're like, yes, we need to work on communication. What does that actually look like in real life? I would say the one thing that I read somewhere that really opened my eyes to it, and this was a blog post, this wasn't even, I was a mental health counselor at this point, and it still hit me like a ton of bricks in the face when I read it, was, the death of all relationships is not about money and things like that, that people think it is, it's unspoken and unmet expectations. So if you are not speaking your expectations and then your spouse isn't meeting these unspoken expectations because they're not a mind reader, you are putting the nail in the coffin as long as that goes on for. And it was a really big pill for me to swallow to realize I didn't say it. So how can I be mad at him when I did not tell him I needed this or I needed that? Yes. Yeah. There was even one time, like when we were young and newly married, like we had no money. And I remember thinking like, don't ever buy me flowers. And I told him this don't ever buy me flowers. It's a waste of money. They're so expensive. And now, 10, 12 years later, I'm like, I, I like flowers. But I had to tell him that because in his mind I had told him never ever buy them. Same, literally same argument at one point. I threw it. I'm like, you never buy me flowers. He's you told me. And I'm like I don't. Yes, I know these poor guys. But the bigger issue was just feeling the lack of feeling the lack of intimacy. And had I communicated that beforehand and even thought about what was actually driving that feeling, it wouldn't have come out as something that seemed so irrational as flowers. I didn't say I didn't want flowers. 100%. And I think the other part that I had to learn to at least was the same thing. Like we got married young. We had to go through all of that, learning how to communicate, but also I had to figure out what it was I actually wanted. Okay, what do I need? Is it sleep? Is it friends? Is it a walk? Is it like, what is it that I need? And that's also trial by error, right? Like it might be, let's try this. Okay. That didn't work. Let's try this. And then you have kids and all the things that just change every dynamic. So it's absolutely a hundred percent working on communication and figuring out what You even need or are wanting. Yeah, absolutely. That's great advice. Okay. Do you have any other ones before we move on? Communication could probably be its whole own episode. Yes. I would say out of all the things that would be the Biggest, biggest one. Yeah. Hundred percent. Yeah. Whoever wrote that. That's very well said. Okay. So then let's transition into kids. Cause one of the things I get not asked because I have no specialty in this, but maybe that gets brought up a lot is kids missing dad, which we talked about a little bit. Kids missing dad, not understanding like when are they going to come home, but also the transition. And I think that this is a struggle even for the spouse of you have to run your schedule on your own when they're not there and be able to do it if they get mandated or recalled, whatever that vernacular is for whatever area you're in, but then when they come home to still have them be a part of it. So how from a mental health side. In addition to the new experience side are some tools people can use to help navigate the reintegration. And I think that is such a complicated process too, because you don't know what you're they're coming home to, if they've slept all night and they really, it didn't have a super busy night, they're ready to jump back in and it feels more seamless. And I don't feel like I have to do a lot of work with it, but it's If it's a day that, he was up all night, and they had calls left and right, and he is dragging when he gets home, sometimes he has to go to bed, and I'm on the fly trying to figure out okay, what am I going to take the kids to do to get them out of the house, or, so he can sleep because he needs that, or sometimes it's, he can't go to sleep at this point, but he is going to be really sensitive and grumpy for the day so I am trying to find some ways to just keep the kids out of his hair and that there can be disappointments with that. Like we have had plans to go out and do things as a family and he just can't. And I used to get resentful of that when the kids were a lot younger and I felt like I had so much on my shoulders now that I'm older. The kids are a little bit older. I can still go take them to go do things, even though it's sad that we can't go with us. Other things we do decide that like, and we all decide as a family, it's okay, we don't have to do that today. But I would say that was a huge struggle, especially when they were younger and I was equally looking forward to having another parent because the kids were, when you have toddlers, you're really looking forward to that parent coming out. Even just meaning that there's another set of eyes on the kids. Yes. And you don't always get that. And again, like that's where that communication piece comes into play. Even if there's nothing they can do about it, just saying it out loud and being acknowledged, can make all the difference and we can move on from this instead of I'm holding onto this. And now the next time this happens, I'm going to be doubly mad or resentful and all of that. Absolutely. We have started where he will text me in the middle of the night Hey, you've been up all night. And so then when I wake up, I'm like, okay, I know what to expect. Yes. Yeah. I'm in the habit of every morning. Cause I'm up with the kids getting them ready for school or my kids wake up at the crack of dawn before he even gets home. So as soon as I'm up, I'm like, how was your night? So that way I know. And he'll either be like, it was good. And I'm like, great. Or he'll be like, it was awful. And I'm like, okay. Okay. Good to know. Or we just need to know what to expect for the day. So we have that communication system in place that has made a difference. But I would say that is probably one of the biggest and hardest things is Especially as a mom, when you are the primary parent and you are looking forward to having your spouse home and not just being around them, but also having that other parent around. And then sometimes they're mentally actually not home. Yes, absolutely. Let's touch on that a little bit but talking about that mental Space of here, but not here, is there a communication tool or is there a phrase, or is there something that you have found in your practice and, or experience, being married to a firefighter that helps bridge that gap of, one of the things that we have started, this might help explain it a little bit better. We had to start this out of necessity where we just created it called couch time and it was for 20 minutes after his shift we would debrief and it wasn't just him. It was also me like, okay, I know this doesn't seem as important because I'm just talking about the kids in our schedule, but this is what we went through and then he would talk about it. But what he went through, and so one of the things that comes up when I talk about this with different firewives is how do you start that if they're maybe not wanting to, like, how do you start having that conversation or they don't know what to say or how to bring up. Cause they may not dive in to the hard stuff immediately. Like it started with how so and so at the fire station, it started with like the pranks they play on each other and then it opened the space where they got to talk about the harder things. So I don't know if this is even a question that makes sense. But I know No, no, I totally understand that you will see where I'm going. Okay. So the best way to figure out what's going to work for you. Cause what works for you is great. But that might not work for everybody. Yes. Biggest thing that would help in that is understanding each other's love language. Mm. So, if you are a physical touch person, you need to take that into consideration. And if they're not, That's fine, but you need to take into consideration their love language, and they need to take into consider yours. So if you need that physical touch, like if you just need five minutes of we're just sitting on the couch together holding each other's hands even though that's not his love language. That's what he might need to do for you, and if his is acts of service, it might be that stepping up of, okay, I can see you've had a rough night. night or whatever, and normally just the one that does the dishes in the sink or whatever, you're going to do those, or you're going to let them go take a nap or, and keep the kids preoccupied. But when you are acknowledging each other's love languages and tapping into that, even during those times, it can make the rebound go a lot quickly, a lot more quickly. Absolutely. This is great. Okay. So the, what I love to end and ask people with, and then we're going to go into some rapid fire questions, is what would you love for the outside world to understand about this life? I. I think I would want them to understand that it really truly is a lifestyle. I mean, a lot of people just look at it and think, Oh, it's a job, and they signed up for this. But we really do have an entire lifestyle that is around this, from the holidays to, those routines that you try to keep that just, Other people wouldn't think about Oh, pizza Fridays. Yeah. Why wouldn't you do something like that on Fridays? That's why our our communities are so important to us with other people that understand and do the shift work as first responders. And it. I think that there should be a lot more compassion for it, for people that aren't in this world that don't have that natural understanding of it. I just wish that, there was more compassion for them and what the families go through. Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. Here we're going to go into rapid fire and then we'll make sure everybody can connect with you. What is your favorite movie? Yes. Okay. So I these end up not being rapid fire. That's why it was my absolutely favorite movies. And when my husband and I first got together, it would, I lived in a studio apartment. I think one of the points when we were dating, I lived in a studio apartment and I just had it play nonstop, like all the time and as a DVD in my TV. I was all alone and all the things I don't know. And so he can now quote this movie like 16 years later. And he's this is terrible. I will tell you the main song, the main score. I walked down the aisle to that. I was just going to say, did you watch, it's a beautiful song. Yeah. Okay. Well, good choice. Um, coffee or tea? Coffee. And how do you drink your coffee? Caramel macchiato. Oh, do you make it at home? Yeah. Cause you don't have anything by you, huh? Yeah. Yeah. They have the little mixes and the, um, I think it's What is it called? Jalava or something like that. They have for the Keurig. Okay. It's low maintenance, but it's still a caramel macchiato. Yeah. I didn't even know. That's exciting. Okay. What is one item you can't live without? Hmm. One item. And it can't be people. I know. One item that I can't live without. Oh man. My journal. Oh, that's good. That's a good one. If the house is on fire, that's coming out. That's what you're gonna do. Yes. And then what is the best advice you have ever been given? Um, I mean, honestly, I'm gonna take it back to that, um, that quote I told you. I know that wasn't direct advice given to me, but that's the one thing that has always stuck out with me. That is, um, What I tell other people constantly just the unspoken expectations. Yeah, I mean that's incredible advice from whoever this blogger was. They did a great job. Yeah. Okay, so how can people get the book and where can they find it? And how can they find you? So the book itself is on Amazon, unless well, that makes it very easy to pick it up later. So yeah, if you just type in Amazon first responder Christmas, it's the first thing that pops right up. It's the only book that will pop up. So it's easy. Yeah, that does make it easy. And then for me personally, you can find me on, I'm on Instagram, I am on TikTok, I am on Facebook, and it's all under My Therapy Journals is my main pages, but then I do also have an author page that's Allie Bankston, LMHC. On Instagram, but you can also find that through the, my therapy journals. That's probably easier. Okay. Awesome. I'll make sure that all of that's in the show notes as well, but this was so much fun. So thank you. I can't wait to go get my copy and see this super cool kids book. It's going to be a very cool part of a lot of families, traditions, especially as they create their families and. Just the different things at the holidays. So thank you for taking time. This was so fun. Yeah, this was, thank you.

32:54

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